


To be Lost and Found Again

by Axilef



Category: Marvel 616, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (2012)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Gender Changes, Civil War (Marvel), F/M, Female Tony Stark, He sort of got transformed by EXTREMIS, Hurt/Comfort, Kinda Kid Fic, M/M, Moving On, NOT Canon!!!, Parent Tony Stark, Tony Stark Feels
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-04-26
Updated: 2014-07-06
Packaged: 2017-12-09 14:03:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 18,300
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/775032
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Axilef/pseuds/Axilef
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After the events of the Civil War, Tony Stark lost everything. Sentenced to exile, he was left with no tech, no friends and nothing but the broken shards of a love that could have been.</p><p>11 years later, America faces a new threat, and SHIELD decides to offer the genius inventor pardon in return for his help.</p><p>But things have changed, and Tony Stark isn't who he used to be.</p><p>He's learned his lesson.</p><p>He's no hero, and no one can ever convince him to be one, not even Commander Rogers.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So there. This is my first fic in this fandom, and the first I have written for a long while. So please be gentle with me. It was a plot bunny that kept bugging me, so I decided to give it a try. :)
> 
>  
> 
> This story will contain various elements from the movies and from the comics, particulary civil war, but I might gloss over who died and who's still alive so just to be safe, I'm already saying it. its not canon. not at all.

**UNIT 4, RUBY CREST VILLAS**

**QUEZON CITY, PHILIPPINES**

 

Alexandra Maria Brown woke up with a start.

Sunlight was streaming through the window, sprinkling all over the room and all over her face. With a groan, she burrows her face into the nearest pillow and tries to lull herself back to sleep. Miserably failing, she moves from the bed and roughly pulls the curtains, blocking the sun and effectively dimming the room.

Task done, she lies spread-eagled on her bed, eyes closed and contemplative. There used to be a time when things like that never had to be a problem, a time when all she had to do was ask and she shall receive.

A time when the world was at her fingertips.

A time when she used to be a hero. 

“Now where did that come from?” she suddenly thought. It was too early in the morning to be thinking like this. Hell, she hasn’t been letting herself think along those lines of thought for a long time now. It has been eleven long years, and there was a part of her life she has succeeded to bury and forget, a necessary act to let herself move on and rebuild her life all over again after essentially losing everything.

And move on she did. When she first arrived in the Philippines, she had been a penniless, pregnant stranger lost in a country that was not her own. Now, she’s a respectable engineering professor, mother to two amazing little geniuses and a naturalized Filipino citizen. She has done quite well for herself and her children and that was all that mattered. She may never be the same as before: rich, powerful and privileged, but nothing will ever make her exchange that for the peace and contentment she has now.

Every once in a while though, like this particular morning, she finds herself missing little stuff from her old life. She missed her technology above any other, and lying there in the confines of her very ordinary bedroom, she allows herself to recall that British, cool voice, imagines talking to him and working with him in her old workshop.

Her old workshop. She feels a tight pinch in her heart as she tries to relive moments spent inside her own fortress. Hours spent researching, tinkering and inventing. A safe haven where she could let loose and simply BE. A place where she can feel safe and shared with the most treasured of her creations. She could get lost in there, hidden away for days or even weeks before Ste-

Blue eyes open with a jolt, willing her mind to stop thinking. No. Stop. Don’t. She cannot allow herself to think of him, or any person from her old life. It hurt too much. But it was a little bit too late in a sense. She can already visualize him, his soft blonde hair, beautiful azure eyes and that stubborn jaw she was so fond of. And before she could stop it, the vision changes as it always did. Hard and icy eyes, jaw locked in a grim scowl, and that soft hair forever away from her fingertips. She was back there, in that moment, watching him hate her, watching him walk away from her, like so many others before him. “We’re over.” His voice echoing over and over again, washing over her leaving her numb with a pain she cannot comprehend.

A knock at her door brings her back to reality.

“Mom?” a cautious voice asks, probably wondering why Alexandra was still in bed when she had a class that morning.

“Yeah, kiddo, I’m awake, just tidying up!” she manages to respond.

A brief pause, then,”Alright, breakfast is already done, so it will be nice if you hurry up before the food runs cold.” Feet shuffle in front the door for a while, before they finally walk away, presumably down to the kitchen.

She waits as the footsteps fade away before releasing the breath she did not notice she was holding.

She was being a fool, a big fool and she needs to stop this stupidity. True, she has lost so much, but it simply doesn’t matter anymore now does it? She has a job she loves, a real family and a new life away from the spotlight and endless responsibilities. Forehead creased, she walks to the bathroom, splashes cold water on her face and looks into the mirror, taking in her reflection.

A young woman stood there, long brown hair falling just below her shoulders, and delicate features filled with weariness.

Shaking her head, she wills herself to just stop thinking. Dwelling over remnants of a long forgotten past was not productive, and it will certainly not do her any good. It was a life that belonged to a Tony Stark, a complete failure of a man, who made wrong choices and lost everything.

The woman in front of her was no Tony Stark, and will never be. She wouldn’t allow it, the world be damned.

Extremis might have had a hand in it, but that fateful day, when Stark chose to fade away into nothingness and Alexandra came into existence, it was her sheer will and determination, the promise to never look back and keep moving forward, that let her survive.

Alone and helpless she crawled out of the darkness and despair. She remade herself and ran as fast as she can, and no matter how afraid she was, she couldn’t afford to give up then. Not when she had two lives depending on her.

She glances at the picture tucked in the corner of the mirror.  A boy and a girl both in white mini graduation suits were tucked under her arms, gleefully showcasing their medals and wearing matching grins. It had been taken during their elementary graduation, her two blonde angels beaming with pride with their respective honors and awards.

Sarah and James. They were her reason for living. All she has done, from the moment the pregnancy was found out, were for her twins. And no matter what happened, their well-being will always come first. She cannot afford to be weak. She was a parent… a mother… and she was willing to die for them.

She finally smiles, the heavy weight in her heart gone and the resolve back in her mind. Tony Stark was nothing but a memory, nothing but dust swept away from existence.

Yes, she was nothing but Alexandra Maria Brown.

Mom to her children.

Alex to her close friends.

Professor Brown to her students.

Just another foreigner in this side of Asia.

A nobody to the rest of the world.

And it was the way it shall remain, forever, if she can help it.

 

**SHIELD HEADQUARTERS**

**UNITED STATES OF AMERICA**

 

“Director Hill”, grim faces looked expectantly into Maria Hill’s eyes. She was in another emergency meeting with the council, an occurrence which made the migraine worse every single time.

The past few weeks had been rough and everyone in SHIELD was jittery and anxious. Three months have passed since the new threat to the planet had been detected, and despite all defence mechanisms in place, this new adversary is proving to be not like anything they have ever seen before.

Huge balls of energy, mechanical beasts of pure power and mysterious men in black cloaks. The group of ten had arrived out of nowhere, calling themselves the new Messiah of the world.

Demands have been made, threat issued soon after.

So far, they have followed through with one threat, effectively wiping out 3 SHIELD Special Operations teams, injuring a couple of the Avengers who responded and successfully taking over Latveria.

After that particular show of power, everyone has gone crazy with anger, indignation, fear and worry.

“What do these men want?” another clipped tone asked. Gerard was one of the oldest members of the council. She always hated these meetings with them but with the present state of affairs, she had no choice but to discuss SHIELD’s next course of action in the face of this threat.

“We have yet to confirm the hostile group’s main objective. All we know is that they are insisting an audience with all the leaders of every nation in the world.” Maria tonelessly responds.

“Any new intel on the energy balls they have been using? The mechanical beasts?” Gerard continued with an edge to his tone.

“No sir, but Reed, Banner, Foster and Selvig, as well as other expert scientists we can find, are all working round the clock to get something.” was her reply.

“Hn. Well, I guess we have to use that trump card after all, Judith.” the thin and pale with crooked glasses said.

“Indeed, Jacob.”

Maria raises her eyebrows in confusion. Trump card? What the hell are they talking about?

Looking inordinately pleased with himself, Jacob pulls a file out of nowhere.

“Under the present circumstances, I believe that there is an inevitable strategic move that we can make to handle this problem.” he said.

“Without much further ado, I now put forth into our discussion the proposal to review the case of Anthony Edward Stark AKA Ironman who was sentenced to exile…”, and Jacob went on to reveal their plans for the man.

Maria struggles to keep the shock from showing in her face. The council can’t be serious about this. She never saw this coming.

She had been blindsided. No one ever told her the council was even considering the idea of lifting the exile on Stark.

The council continued a now heated discussion over the war criminal.

She is sure that this was going to be a huge disaster. But as the arguments went on, she saw where the man was coming from. They didn’t really have much of a choice. They were facing an enemy technology advanced in ways that only a genius like Tony Stark will be able to understand and counter in the fastest way possible.

It was simply a matter of choosing the lesser evil.

Yes, after all these years, the world needs Tony Stark. She can imagine the smug look on Stark’s face when they come to collect him.

Maria sighs, if this was happening, she was definitely not going to be the one to tell the Commander nor the Avengers about the new development. It certainly wasn’t going to be pretty for everyone, except Stark.

Lucky bastard. He gets to go home after all these years, after all he’s done.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where Reed is forced to make a choice, Clint is all set to enjoy the ride and Sarah is going to try her hand at matchmaking.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And finally, Chapter II is out! 
> 
> But before anything else, I would like to thank everyone for the warm reception!   
> All your kind and encouraging words made me work extra hard to finish this next chapter. 
> 
> Hope you all enjoy reading it, as much as I enjoyed writing it.
> 
> Extra special thanks to my beta, Venetica for an awesome job!   
> All mistakes that remain are mine. :)
> 
> As for updates, I guess I can safely promise an update at least once a week.

**BAXTER BUILDING**

**MANHATTAN, NEW YORK**

 

The SHIELD agents were back. And this time around, they’d brought THE Black Widow.

This was fast becoming a terrible morning.

Reed Richards straightened his tie and ran his hands through his hair. It was annoying the hell out of him, all this force-Reed-to-spill-where-Tony-Stark-is game that Shield was playing. As if Reed would tell them anything. He and Stark may not have seen eye to eye on many things, but after what happened during the Civil War, he viewed the genius as a comrade, if not a friend. And as a comrade, he cannot bring himself to betray any information about where he went after the exile, especially with the state Stark was in.

He also believed that wherever Stark was now, he deserved to live a life away from a country that rejected him and a team who abandoned him.

He walked out into their living room, resolving to get this done as fast as he can.

After all, how hard could it be to shake his head and send them on their merry way?

“Good Morning Dr. Richards”, Black Widow said, smile not reaching her eyes. She sat in one of the sofa chairs that Susan loves, right in front of the television, legs crossed and palms down on the armrests, apparently trying to look as non-threatening as possible.

“Black Widow” He nods. “To what do I owe this pleasure?”

“I think you know why I’m here, Doctor.”

He grimaced. “Then you know my answer.”

“That’s not the answer we want to hear”, her voice turned sharp and commanding.

“Unfortunately, that’s all you’ll be able to get from me.” He said a little more forcefully than normal, as he began to preoccupy his hands with his tablet.

The redhead regarded him silently and then leaned back further in the chair. “Oh, really?”

Something in the tone of her voice made him look up from his tablet. Brown met blue. Panic was starting to stir in his heart. Something was up with the way her face looked open and relaxed. Like she knew something that he didn’t. Something that will make him finally cooperate.

Silence enveloped the room. Reed turned back to his tablet, trying to calm himself down. Susan would be back soon and with her help, he could drive these pesky agents out of the tower.

“Doctor, we all know very well that you got off easier than Stark, considering your own actions during the war.” The woman was smiling at him again. Dread started to pool in his stomach.

She continued. “The people may have been willing to forgive you more readily. Most may no longer remember much of what you did.”

A pause and then, “But SHIELD has never forgotten.”

So it had come to this. There was no doubt where the agent was heading.

He must admit, he never thought that SHIELD would resort to this. They must be getting desperate.

“Are we down to threats now, Black Widow?” he tried to put some fight into his voice, but instead of coming off as a challenge, it sounded like nothing more than a resigned question.

“Oh, this is not a threat Doctor. Treat my words as advice. A form of reminder for you.” She was standing now, looking every inch the deadly assassin she was.

Reed knew he was trapped. It was no longer a simple task of protecting a comrade. This was getting more personal, more about his family.

“I don't think Susan or the kids will take kindly to news of you getting a re-trial will they?”

“I was cleared of all charges! A re-trial would be unconstitutional!!” panic was bleeding into his voice.

“Will it? But there was just this previously undiscovered evidence recovered. Not much really, but enough. Enough to try you as a war criminal… just like Stark”, the challenge was evident in her voice.

“I didn't expect SHIELD to sink this low.”

The Black Widow chuckled, a low throaty sound that added to his agitation. Then she said, “When it comes to national security, I assure you, there is nothing SHIELD wouldn't do.”

And he believed her. SHIELD had always been more about duty and less about honor. Then he remembered.

“How can you even say any of that? You were on our side too!” he saw how she supported the SHRA, how she joined the task force Iron Man had led.

“I'm only a messenger Doctor.” Her face softened and somehow he felt as if she had her own reasons for playing this role in his torment.

It doesn’t change anything though; he can’t stop the brimming hatred for her, for her words and for her message.

Reed stood silent, still trying to think of another way, running all possible scenarios and possibilities.

They had him. He couldn't risk it. His family will be hurt by a re-trial. He and Susan had barely been able to patch things up together and save their marriage. He owed it to her to do everything to keep the ghosts of his choices back then away from them. He owed it to Franklin and Valeria.

He gestures for Black Widow to follow him into his study, where the files she needed were stored.

‘I hope you'll forgive me for this Tony.’ he thought, a small apology for the genius, for failing to honor his last request.

The only satisfaction left with Reed was the knowledge that wherever Tony was, the genius would give SHIELD hell.

Even if they did find him, it will be extremely hard to convince him to do SHIELD’s bidding.

If they all thought Tony Stark will be the same man he was eleven years ago, then they were in for a big surprise.

He was smiling when they finally walked into the study.

 

**SUB_BASEMENT LEVEL 1- ASSEMBLY ROOM**

**AVENGERS MANSION**

**5 TH AVENUE, NEW YORK**

Clint Barton, aka Hawkeye, was having a really interesting morning.

When he got the tense and obscure call two days ago to come in for a mission briefing he expected some kind of top secret mission to deal with the new threat everyone was so agitated about.

He wasn't entirely wrong. But he certainly did not expect the circus unfolding before him.

“This is insane!” Luke Cage roared, eyes blazing. Somewhere in the middle of the argument, he had leapt up from his chair, looking all ready to punch someone in the face.

Black Widow looked ready to kill him, “Everyone knows you’re not the best person to give judgment on this, Cage. You’re compromised. And-”.

“Compromised? If knowing firsthand how Stark can effectively ruin your life is your definition of compromised, then hell yes, I am compromised!” Cage insisted.

“Luke has a point. I don’t think bringing Stark in is a good idea”, the Winter Soldier interjects.

The Director’s voice was tinged with exasperation when she spoke, “I know this is unfavorable for most of you, but listen to reason. We need Stark. We’ve tried everything we have to figure out how we can neutralize these ZOIDS. But we have failed every single time. We need an engineer, a genius inventor to tinker on this.”

She paused for a while looking at each face in the room. “We need Stark.”

Cage opens his mouth, refusing to back down. “Can’t we-“

“I assure you, we’ve been through other options and we wouldn’t have brought this up if we knew there was something else we could do.” Director Hill immediately supplied, anticipating Cage’s thought.

“No matter what you say, we are voting against this.” Cage exclaimed, voice trembling with anger and determination.

“Whoa- slow down Cage, I think we need a team meeting before we can confirm our stand on this.” Wiccan piped out. The Hulking, who was sitting beside him, murmured an agreement.

“Why bother? We know no one is going to back this madness up.” Cage was clenching his fists now, bracing himself for a fight.

“This is really mature of you Cage, bravo for you”, Ms. Marvel said, sarcasm dripping from her voice. She was standing now, obviously against Cage’s declaration.

Hawkeye rolled his eye at the whole debacle. This argument was getting out of hand. SHIELD and the Avengers had been getting along quite amicably in the past couple of years, but when they argued, it was usually an awful mess. And there were topics both sides mutually agreed never to breach. And one such topic was a certain Tony Stark.

Tony.

Up until now, he had never really decided whether he agreed or not with what the genius did during the Civil War. From the stories he heard and the articles he’s read, he should be angry at the Golden Avenger. Tony really messed up; did a lot of shitty things, made a couple of wrong calls and got a lot of people killed.

But somehow, he couldn’t bring himself to hate the guy. How could he judge a man based on hearsay? He wasn’t there when everything blew over. And he had no way of knowing how the story went on from Tony’s side of things.

And above all, he knew Tony. And based from how he remembered the man, he couldn't help but believe that there was a reason for all the madness.

A reason worth forgiving him for. 

Whatever the team decided, nothing was going to stop him from participating in the mission. The promise of seeing Tony again has him strangely vested. He wanted to talk with the man and understand why. He wanted to see his friend again.

He was about to make his opinion known when the room sank into abrupt silence. Surprised, he looked around the room and saw the reason. Commander Steve Rogers, formerly Captain America, had just walked in and from the look on his face, everyone knew better than to harp on the present subject in front of him.

It was an unspoken belief among them all that if anyone had the right to decide anything Tony-Stark-related, it was the Commander. In the end, he had signed the final order exiling Tony.

“Commander Rogers” Director Hill seemed to breathe a sigh of relief at the sight of the man.

“Director Hill”, the Commander gives a terse nod and takes a seat.

“Thank you for coming on such short notice.” 

“I was under the impression that this was urgent, Director.” His eyes swept the room, taking in everyone’s appearance. “You said something about a pardon?”

Director Hill eagerly proceeded. “Yes. As I was explaining before, the council has recommended granting a full pardon to Stark in exchange for assistance in dealing with the ZOIDS.”

The Commander sighed. For a brief moment, Clint saw something flash in his face. But it was gone in an instant. It made him wonder how Steve Rogers felt about all of this. About Tony.

He had never been privy to enough information to know for certain, but he had heard the rumors about Steve and Tony’s ‘personal relationship’.

Clint inwardly flinched. He felt really bad for Steve then, considering that if there was any truth to those rumors, he couldn’t imagine what went through Steve’s head when he approved Tony’s exile.

Who could do that, to a person they loved, without destroying themselves, in the end?

“Are you absolutely certain that nothing else can be done?” Commander Rogers was looking the Director in the eye, as if daring her to lie.

Director Hill stared right back at him, “Yes, Commander. Stark is our best shot at dealing with this threat.”

The commander sighed. “Then it can't be helped. We-”

“Steve! You can't be serious!” Cage interrupted. Again.

“You can't let them do this! We'd rather go look for an alternative. There has to be something else”, protested the Winter Soldier.

The Commander lifted his gaze to meet Cage’s and then the Winter Soldier’s, blue eyes glinting with steel.

“Be reasonable Luke. We all knew that this might happen. Stark will always be an important asset to us despite everything he did”, his famous Captain America voice echoing throughout the room.  “This has always been an option. Don't tell me you'd rather risk the lives of thousands of men fighting against these ZOIDS?

Grim silence followed. They’d already lost a large number of men to several run-ins with the mechanical beasts. Several Avengers were already out of commission due to injuries sustained battling these ZOIDS. 

“This is not going to be easy. But we need to work with Stark on this. More than our personal feelings, we have a duty to the people. It’s our duty to keep them safe, so if we have to work with Stark to fulfill that, then we will.” He was standing now, waiting for other protests from the rest of the team. 

No one dared to say anything then. Cage and the Winter Soldier certainly looked like they had a million more things to say, but each just crossed their arms and kept silent. 

Clint chuckled internally. That's Commander Rogers for you. With just a few words from him, the argument was suddenly over. Nothing less than one would expect from the Top Cop.

Director Hill saw her cue, “Well, seeing as everyone is finally in agreement, we shall now discuss the options for the retrieval operation for Stark. SHIELD has-”

“Are you sure about this, Pops?” A small but steady voice interrupted. Heads turned to the ceiling, where a masked Avenger was hanging.

Spiderman. He had almost forgotten about him. The guy had been quiet right from the beginning of the meeting, and this was the first time he has ever called the Commander "Pops" while on official business. 

Commander Rogers and Spiderman looked at each other as an unspoken passed between them. In that brief moment, Clint saw not his brave comrades in arms, but simply Steve and Peter, two men who he suspected to be most affected by Stark's imminent return.

“It’s alright. We'll talk later Peter.” A reassuring smile broke out on the Commander’s face.

Spiderman nodded and retreated to his corner, his posture betraying nothing.

“As I was saying before being interrupted,” the Director was obviously getting irritated with the countless interruptions and was talking rapidly.

“SHIELD has been able to find a lead on Stark's last known location. What we need to do now is select a team to find Stark and convince him to help. That's where the offer for a pardon comes in.” 

“Hah! As if the bastard needs convincing! Once he hears about the part where we need his help AND the pardon, he'll waste no time in shoving his greatness in ~~to~~ our faces!” Cage exclaims.

Clint frowned, he actually liked Cage, but with how obnoxious the man was being, he was considering shooting him with an arrow. Or two.

“It would be best if we could assemble a small team. It will be wise to make sure that any further information about this mission is restricted to the members and me. We can't risk alerting the enemy of what we plan to do”, the Director continued.

A soft murmur of agreement went through the room, and they resolved to finish the team selection right then and there. Forty minutes later, those not selected were requested to leave the room. Cage was obviously stuck between being happy that he wasn’t getting dragged into "this Stark mess" and disappointed that he'll be missing out on the rest of the meeting. 

The Winter Soldier paused in front of the Commander, hand reaching out to clasp his shoulder as a sign of support. It was obvious how displeased he was to see that Steve was joining the team, but with the way those jaws were locked in tight, there was no room for any doubt, nothing in the world could have made the Commander change his mind.

Clint looked around the room. Commander Rogers, Ms. Marvel, Black Widow and Spiderman. 

Hill certainly wasn’t kidding with the ‘small team’ part. 

Commander Rogers unsurprisingly had volunteered. Spiderman had followed suit almost immediately, probably unwilling to let Steve handle the situation without him.

Ms. Marvel was selected due to her once close friendship with Tony. They hoped it would come in handy for first contact.

Black Widow was apparently the main SHIELD agent assigned to the mission. And as for Hawkeye, he was selected to provide backup and additional firepower should anything go wrong on the mission.

Which probably meant he was to provide additional muscle should the ZOIDS or any other super villain decide to foil their mission. Some kind of Plan B.

And it was fine with Clint, he would have volunteered for this anyway.

Something akin to excitement was bubbling in his chest. After so long, Clint was finally getting a chance to see an old friend, and when that friend was Tony Stark, it was bound to be an explosive event.

And if Commander Rogers' face was any indication, sparks were bound to fly indeed.

“Just wait a little while Tony. Just wait.” he muttered, bringing back his focus into the meeting.

 

**HIGH SCHOOL DEPARTMENT**

**ATENEO DE MANILA UNIVERSITY**

 

This so wasn’t Sarah's day.

It all started that morning when their car broke down (again). And despite having one of the best engineers in the whole country for a mother, they had been unable to permanently fix the hiccup under the Chevy’s hood.

It wasn’t a matter of finding the problem. It was their biggest problem as of late: money.

If only they had enough money to cover the purchase of very important parts, then it wouldn’t be a problem anymore. But money was tight, and Sarah knew her mother was at her wit's end trying to balance their bank book.

If only their mom would allow her and James to get part-time jobs. But no matter how hard they pushed, she would always push back harder. Their mother was adamant about the twins keeping their focus on their studies. Both of them were in high school now, and with the 100% full scholarship they had to maintain grades for, on top of several scholarship grants they were able to get for additional allowance, Alexandra had been firm.

“Don't worry about anything else. I've got this. Just go focus on your studies and make me proud.” Her mom had squeezed their hands tightly as if to make a point. “Besides, you have your art and James has his sports. I'd rather you both pursue these worthwhile interests rather than concern yourself with stuff like money and jobs.”

It had been the end of that discussion, but Sarah couldn't keep herself from worrying.

Sarah knew her mother needed all the help she could get. She was already working three regular jobs, one as a full-time teacher at the University of the Philippines- College of Engineering, the two other as a part-time lecturer in the respective Engineering colleges of Ateneo De Manila and Mapua Institute of Technology.

Not to mention the occasional gigs as consultant to several firms. And when she can, Sarah was sure she was still doing work as a real estate agent, selling residential lots to interested friends and colleagues. 

It wasn't easy, and Sarah had seen her mother exhausted to the bone, barely able to crawl in to bed after a rough day. Amazingly enough, Alexandra always had time for her children. Any and all free time was spent on weekends together, or on some family project they bond over. She seldom missed a single family day, art show, game or awarding ceremony.

Her mother was one hell of a woman, and Sarah will never love any other the way she loves her. 

So that morning, seeing the frustrated look on that delicate face, she kicked James under the table effectively quelling the oncoming complaints from his mouth. He hated commuting to school, and Sarah wasn't particularly fond of the heat, smoke and utter inconvenience it entails either. 

After all, beggars can't be choosers. 

And so the gruesome day unfolded. 

Traffic was incredibly heavy so they barely made it on time to school.

They had a surprise quiz later on, and it would have been a piece of cake, if she had not forgotten to actually read the material assigned.

Lunch would have been perfect, if she didn't manage to forget her wallet at home. She had to borrow some from James, who took great pleasure in mocking his dear sister for being the forgetful one, just this once. 

She loved her brother, but sometimes, he acted like some big, egotistic, dumb jock. On purpose. Just to infuriate her.

Her favorite history professor was absent that afternoon, substituted by some know it all who made them listen to him recounting his exciting days in the army. 

She never thought it was possible to dislike an army man before. They were all relieved when he dismissed the class early.

And as if the day couldn't get any worse, her art club advisor had just called her to cancel their session that afternoon. She had been taking private advanced classes with Professor Bautista, even entertaining the concept of entering into an art apprenticeship soon. And of everything on her schedule that day, it was that session which she had been looking forward to the most.

Yes, it was definitely a bad day. All she wanted to do now was get home, take a shower, maybe watch some television or tinker with their latest family project: an electronic system to be installed in the house, which will centralize the security and household maintenance systems.

Her mood considerably lifted. If she was lucky, her mom would already be home, and they could work on it together. Walking out of the building, she started walking faster, not bothering to tell James she was going home. He probably had basketball practice anyway.

She was already walking through the parking lot towards the main gate when she heard someone calling her name. To her surprise, it was James.

He was running towards her, his bag slung over his shoulders, looking very annoyed.

“Jesus, you walk fast.” He blurted out, panting.

“What do you want James?” she exclaimed, a little more rude than usual. She did have a bad day; she was in no mood to deal with her twin. “Don’t you have practice?”

“You don't check your phone much do you?” James pointedly asked. 

“Huh?” she said in a small voice, suddenly feeling guilty. She had the tendency to forget about her phone. It was a bad habit of hers

She fished her phone out of her backpack. Sure enough, there were 3 missed calls and a message from her mother. Oh dear.

James pouted and then brightly said, “Mom called. She and Rob are coming to pick us up! So I asked coach to give me a free pass for this afternoon.”

“Rob?” she asked, genuinely surprised.  

“Yep. He just got back from Japan. And he's taking us out for dinner.” James grinned. 

“And mom's talking to him?” she asked, still surprised. If she remembered it right, Rob and her mom had a big fight two weeks ago. As far as she knew, they were in one of their off phases.

“Uh-huh. Isn't that great?” James said, delight showing in his handsome face.

She nodded slowly, already contemplating the situation. The pair walked back to the high school building’s entrance where they usually got picked up. 

She liked Rob. He and her mom had known each other since they had been born, and had been seeing each other on and off for the past seven years. 

And while they had no concrete idea about the real score between them, she and James were certainly not adverse to the idea of them getting together. 

Her mom was tough as nails, and she did a pretty good job of raising them on her own. But it was about time for someone to take care of her, to share life and its burdens with, someone who can love and protect her in ways she and James cannot.

Alexandra was human too. Their mother needed someone to be there for her in all the ways their biological father was not. 

Their biological father. Sarah will probably never hate someone as much as she hates him, whoever he was.

Their mother never said anything about him. She never said anything negative or expressed any hate for the man. It was a rule of the house for as long as the twins could remember. No one talks about HIM. Hell, no one was allowed to ask about anything from before her mother arrived in the Philippines. 

And as curious as they both were, one look into the pain reflected in their mother's eyes was enough to stop them.

“Someday, when you are ready, we will talk about it. But only then.” That was what Alexandra repeated whenever prodded, like a mantra, for her children. 

Now that she was older, Sarah had lost all desire to ask about the past their mother was desperately trying to run from. And she didn't care about HIM, not anymore. So what if he was their biological father? 

Where was he when they were born? 

Where was he every time they looked for a man to protect them and found no one?

Where was he when they simply needed a father, to talk to, to hold them when they were afraid and to tell them everything was going to be okay when their mother couldn't?

Was he even still alive? 

Did he want them in the first place?

Did he even love them? 

Some time ago, Sarah would have wanted to know the answer to these lingering questions stored away in the corners of her heart. 

But somewhere along the way, she'd tired of trying to hold on to the idea of an unknown man as their father. 

She was tired of dreaming of the day he'll suddenly turn up at their front door, with apologies, explanations and promises of staying and being a real family. 

She was tired of catching her mom with that faraway look in her face whenever the fourth of July comes around. Or the look of depression and pain on Christmas mornings.

She wants her mom to stop pushing herself too much, to learn that she can trust someone else to catch her whenever she falls.

She wants her to celebrate her birthdays again.

She wants her to be happy.

A honk pulled her from her thoughts as a white car pulled in.

James whistled then exclaimed, “It’s a 2012 Ferrari 458 Italia! Sweet!”

She really likes Robert. No one except him had been able to put up with her mother and her workaholic-family centric tendencies. Too bad they seemed to be in a causal relationship, with neither commitment nor solid promises, just the way her mother likes it.

Not to mention he was a terrific father figure to them, when he had the time to spare. 

Tinted windows slid down, and her mom's smiling face came into view as she waved at them to walk faster. 

Sarah waved back, and both of them broke into a run.

Mentally, she was crossing her fingers. Who knows, maybe they can all work out this weird family status they have. 

Maybe, just maybe, her mom and Rob will stop behaving like children and actually try to work something more permanent out.

After all, Rob is already family to her. He is the closest thing to a dad she has ever known.

He has always been there for them providing them with the love of a real parent.

And if there’s one thing she’s learned, family is not a matter of blood.

Blood only makes one a relative. 

It’s love that makes you family.

Wherever HE maybe in the world, if he's still alive, Sarah hopes he'll continue staying away from them.

They don't need him. 

He will never be family.

\-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case anyone's wondering, I'm not really doing a cross over with the anime ZOIDS, I'm just using the mecha for the story's villains. :))))
> 
> Reviews are absolutely welcome! If you've got questions, don't hesitate to ask.
> 
> and Kudos is love! :))))
> 
>  
> 
> Follow me on tumbler! I'm new there, just set it up last month! This is my account: http://willowall.tumblr.com/


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 3
> 
> Where Steve remembers, James is determined and Alexandra struggles to keep moving forward.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry for the long wait! 
> 
> Real life really got in the way, and I could have posted sooner, except my beta ran into some RL affairs, so you get the picture. :(
> 
> So this one is not betaed. All mistakes are mine. If you catch errors let me know!
> 
> I hope you guys like this chapter. Thank you so much to everyone who gave support and encouragement. mmmmmwah!
> 
> And if you have some time to spare or would feel like helping out a poor author, please please let me know if you can volunteer as a beta. :) Comment or email me! :)
> 
> Here you go!
> 
>  
> 
> Jan. 8 Update: Just fixed an error! Thank you jkbat for giving a heads up!

**DOOR 212, 111 LAWRENCE ST.**

**BROOKLYN, NEW YORK**

**UNITED STATES OF AMERICA**

 

Commander Rogers, formerly Captain America , walked up the stairs towards his apartment, shoulders rigid, face betraying no emotion.

It was only after he was safely inside his home, did he feel his face fall, his shoulders drooping as he leans against the door he had shut hurriedly behind him. Gone was the world’s top cop, Commander Rogers, and in his place was Steve Rogers.

His feet give out, sliding him down to a sitting position. Exhaustion was coursing through every pore in his body. It has been a couple of rough months for everyone, starting from the day the blasted ZOIDS have made themselves known.

Steve was used to dealing with neutralizing grave threats to the nation’s security. He has dealt with aliens, warlords, evil scientists, crazy businessmen, terrorists and mutants. So no, the ZOIDS were not entirely the reason for the exhaustion he is feeling right now.

What made everything more taxing than usual was the several weeks spent in putting together the mission to retrieve Tony Stark. The war criminal. The Golden Avenger. His ex-fiance.

He has always prided himself with the ability to separate his personal life with his job, but with the current situation, he finds himself unable to stop his own personal feelings to muddle his thoughts.

Steve sighs, then gets to his feet. As much as he wanted to rest, the only reason he came home was to pack clothes to bring on the mission.

And he desperately needed a hot shower.

He walks into his bedroom, quickly stripping. Minutes later, he’s in the shower with the warm water soothing his sore muscles.

He wanted nothing more than to go crawl into bed and sleep, to throw away all the care in the world and just forget. To let somebody else deal with this damn retrieval.

When he first heard of the idea of granting Tony a pardon, his insides had frozen up with dread. He hid it with a mask of indifference, but deep inside, he was already starting to panic.

Just thinking about seeing the man again has his heart going hay wire. Steve Rogers, the man with a plan, has no idea how he is going to face the biggest regret of his life.

Tony Stark. For the most part of the past decade, he has managed to convince himself that he was sorry he ever met the man. He thinks of all those promises and dreams that they had, all destroyed by Tony’s secrets and lies, and it was so easy to hate him.

But on days when his mind wanders, when he suddenly remembers better days, before the SHRA, he aches and longs for the man he admired, respected and had wished to spend the rest of his life with.

He closes his eyes and allows himself to think freely of a man that he was still desperately in love with, despite everything which transpired between them. Despite what Tony had done.

He was lying, the day he told Tony they were over. He had gone over to the prison holding the genius, angry and betrayed, and let his emotions get the better of him. He wanted to hurt Tony the way he was hurting.

_“No. Steve. Don’t do this.”, Tony pleads, grabbing his arm._

_“You’ve given me no choice. I can’t do this anymore.”_

_“Please Steve, I only did what I had to. I-“_

_“Enough with the lies Stark.”, Steve cuts him off._

_“But-“, Tony grips him tighter, pulling in, urging Steve to turn and look at him_

_“You’ve gone too far. I can’t be with someone I don’t trust”., Steve finally looks at Tony, taking in his dishevelled appearance, and felt the anger rush into his veins._

_“How can you live with what you did to Peter?”_

_Tony visibly paled and shouted, “I only tried to protect him!”_

_He shakes his head. He’s had enough of Tony’s reasons. He had a hundred of reasons, of justifications for his actions, but they don’t always make things right._

_Nothing will ever make things right for him and Tony._

_“Let me explain Steve!”_

_He can hear the agony and the pain in Tony’s voice. But he can’t let himself care. Not after everything._

_There are simply things you can never forgive. He has tried so hard to understand and support Tony through every shit he’s ever done._

_But this time around, he just cannot forget the deaths, the lives ruined and how Peter almost died._

_He reaches into his shirt, pulling the ring hanging from a chain at his neck. Pulling hard to break the chain, he throws it at Tony’s feet, feeling a strange kind of twisted satisfaction at seeing the shock in his now-former lover’s face._

_“We’re over.”_

_“But you promised.”Tony’s grip has weakened, and it was so easy to shrug the hand off and turn away._

_“That was before you betrayed us all. Before this.”_

_“Steve, please.” Weak and brittle, it didn’t even sound like Tony anymore._

_But he didn’t care. He didn’t._

_He starts to walk for the exit._

_“Don’t you dare walk away from me!”, Tony shouts, breathing labored._

_“We’re over Tony.” He firmly repeats, punching his code into the door._

_As it slides in to let him out, he pauses one last time to ask the one question he has always wanted to ask the other man, all throughout this unnecessary war._

_“Was it worth it?”_

_Only a deep and suffocating silence followed._

_He was halfway out when he heard the heart-wrenching sobs._

_He never looked back._

He had lied. It took everything he had not to turn and take back everything he said. But he had been so hurt and so lost. His heart was so battered and broken, leaving his mind free to think and decide.

He could never forgive Tony, he won’t allow himself to.

Tony Stark betrayed them all. The genius took everything they believed in and threw it away like it was nothing.

He destroyed all their hope and dreams, all because of his selfishness and unwillingness to trust anyone. Not Peter. Not even Steve.

He just kept walking, ignoring the screams behind him.

He never looked back.

That was the last time he ever talked to Tony as Steve. Weeks later, he sat across him as Commander Rogers, in the meeting which would decide the man’s fate. He came to represent the President, one of his duties ever since being appointed as the Commander, America’s Top Cop.

America was out for blood. Someone’s head had to roll for the tragedy that claimed so many lives and damaged so much property.  And that someone was to be Tony Stark.

No one else was left to take the blame. Hank Pym had managed to escape. Norman Osborn was dead. Reed Richards, with the support of the Fantastic 3, was already cleared of all charges.

_Steve watched Tony from the corner of his eye, and noted how much paler and thinner the genius was since the last time they saw each other._

_Tony’s head hung low, his eyes downcast. He avoided contact with anyone. He had looked so tired and beaten, Steve had to fight the impulse to reach out and gather him into a tight embrace. To whisper in his ears that everything was going to be okay._

_But he couldn’t do that, not anymore. This was no longer Tony Stark-Rogers, the Iron Avenger, father to Peter, his husband. This was Tony Stark, the genius, the war criminal, a stranger._

_Nothing was ever going to be okay. Not for Tony Stark._

_“What are you doing here?” General Matthews asked, every inch hateful of him._

_“I come in lieu of the President, General. I have every right to be here.”_

_“Is this wise?  We all know what the agenda of this meeting is his fiance, what makes you all think he won’t be compromised?” the general continues._

_“Ex-fiance.”, he corrects. This was nothing new. People were always either convinced he was going to take Tony’s side or he was going to find it difficult to be objective when it came to the man._

_He always proved them wrong. Today is not going to be any different._

_“So what? We all know how loyal you can be and-“, the general insists._

_“I am loyal to nothing,General, but the dream. Nothing else is more important than the welfare of the country. Believe me when I say, I am not compromised.” He completes his statement by looking into everyone’s eyes, urging them to see the truth in his eyes and challenging them to believe otherwise._

_No one says another word against his presence after that._

_The meeting begins, and they gloss over what Steve was already told. Tony was to be declared as a war criminal and revoked of his American citizenship. What was left of his shares in his company shall go to Pepper Potts, and the Ironman armour was to be turned over to the US Military. And ultimately, Tony was to be exiled from the United States of America as soon as possible._

_Everyone agreed with the provisions of the punishment, except for the Ironman technology. Arguments about the armour came as expected. Others wanted SHIELD to get it. The military insists to push through with the plan. Everyone wanted to get their hands on the amazing technology, greed showing on their faces._

_“Enough.”, his voice cuts through the argument going on._

_“The Ironman armour is too dangerous to be left with anyone. No one else except its creator will be able to truly use it and defend it from others trying to steal its secrets.”, he said._

_General Matthews snorts, “You see? He’s compromised! He’s going to let that man walk away with his technology! He’s-“_

_“Oh shut up you old dog!”, Lisa Meyers, the new Secretary of Defense exclaims, then turns to Steve. “So what do you propose we do then?”_

_“Destroy it. Its existence will always be more of a liability than an advantage in our hands. It would be best to get rid of it.”_

_In the corner of his eye, he thought he saw Tony flinch._

_A murmur of assent went across the room._

_And the meeting went on, and after four hours of deliberation, a final decision was made. The technology was to be gathered and destroyed next month, and a day after, Tony was to be sent into his exile._

_“All those in favour, raise your right hand.”_

_One by one, hands rose up. Tony, who all throughout the discussions stayed unnaturally quiet and stared into his hands, chose that moment to look at Steve._

_Dull blue eyes met his own. Begging him. Asking him to not raise his hand._

_But his mind was made up. This was for the best. Tony made his choices, and he has to face the consequences._

_There used to be a time, when Steve would do everything in his power to help Tony._

_But this time is different. It’s not just the two of them anymore._

_This is about Tony, and how his selfishness and arrogance single-handedly almost destroyed the world. This is about his sins to the world and to the people._

_He may be Steve Rogers, but he was Captain America first and foremost._

_He had a duty to his people. Tony has no one to blame but himself._

_Mouth set into a thin line, he averted his gaze and raised his hand._

_A woman reads out the sentence for formality._

_“Do you have anything to say for yourself, Mr. Stark?”_

_Silence filled the room, and for a while, it seemed like the man didn’t even hear the question._

_A bit annoyed at being ignored, the woman continued. “Well, since that’s it, we’ll have Mr. Stark escorted back-“_

_“It wasn’t worth it.” Tony’s quiet but steady voice interrupted her._

_It took a while to register in his head but when it finally did those four words went straight to Steve’s heart._

_He sharply looks at Tony in shock, but the man had already turned to the guards, holding his hands out to be handcuffed. Seconds later, he was being led out of the door._

_Steve struggled with himself then, but after a couple of minutes, he finds himself walking out of the door, walking quickly to catch up with the group._

_“Hey! Officer!”he called out to the young man in charge of the group._

_“Commander! Is something wrong? Do we have to go back?”Adam Dwight, he now remembers, looking surprised at Steve’s interruption._

_“No. I- I just wanted a moment with the prisoner, if its not a problem.”_

_“Oh. Its alright sir. Would you want some privacy?”_

_“No, here would be fine.”_

_He looks at Tony then, a silent and stiff figure standing on the side._

_Before this meeting, Tony had been sending so many messages to him, asking to meet up, that he had something important to tell him. A matter of life and death._

_He ignored them all. He wasn’t even planning on addressing them, but this was the last time he will ever see Tony again, and something in his voice earlier was-_

_“Commander?” Adam’s puzzled voice breaks through his thoughts._

_How embarrassing, to be like this._

_To stand there, flustered and anxious._

_Only Tony._

_No. Focus._

_He nods apologetically to the young man._

_“Oh yes, Stark.”_

_Tony looks at him, face perpetually blank._

_Cold. Distant. Impersonal._

_“You said you had something to tell me?” he asks, trying to be nonchalant and urgent at the same time, hoping that the desperation he was beginning to feel wouldn’t show._

_Something flickered in Tony’s eyes. For a second he saw conflict and turmoil in those eyes._

_Hesitation._

_Resignation._

_But he blinked, and it was all gone. Swept away by a mask of indifference._

_“Nothing. It was nothing.” Tony replies and looks away._

_Steve nods. “ I see. Sorry for bothering you Officer.”_

_The officer salutes and the whole group went on their way._

A month later, the whole Ironman technology was destroyed.

The day after that, Tony Stark was brought to the Mexican border, released and warned to never come back. He wasn’t there, but he saw the footage. He saw the genius cross the border, look back with a broken expression, taking a deep breath before he turned around. He kept walking and walking until he disappeared from view.

Tony disappearing into the desert was a memory that haunts him to this day.

What was he expecting Tony to say that day? An apology? Affirmation that he was right and Tony was wrong?

He was a fool for letting himself hope that Tony would see the error of his actions. For letting himself believe in the man.

He will never make the same mistake again. He’s considered this possibility before, Stark coming back, seeing and talking to the man who ruined everything they had together. And he already had decided that he was never going to let the man get to him.

His eyes snap open, and he reaches out to turn the shower off.

He had a job to do, and nothing was going to stand in his way, not his feelings and certainly not Tony Stark. He goes around his apartment, dutifully preparing all his things as he was supposed to.

An hour later, he’s standing in front of his door about to walk out, in a simple white shirt and casual jeans, his suitcase clutched tightly in his hand, his mind hardening in a steely resolve.

He is Commander Rogers once again. And Tony Stark is nothing more than a name of an old war criminal he has to find to save the world.

 

 

 

**SM NORTH EDSA**

**QUEZON CITY, PHILIPPINES**

 

A red and yellow streak ran through the mall, darting in and out of the heavy morning crowd.

Sleep deprived and bone achingly tired, james wanted nothing more than climb back to bed and sleep the day away, but with their first match less than two weeks away, he couldn't let himself miss another gym session.

Coach Cruz was going crazy on all of them, with their first game coming in less than a week. And as a new player, James was trying very hard to earn his place on the team. Standing at 5'10'', a few of his teamates has expressed the belief that the only reason he got on the team was due to his freakish height, and he has yet to prove himself on the court. The sooner he proves them wrong, the better. He was no liability to the team, and he was going to prove that to all.

He continued to ascend to the fifth floor, where the gym was located. They seldom head all the way to this branch of Gold's Gym, usually opting to workout in the branch just across their campus, but today, their coach wanted a different routine for the team. Figuring how important the championship was to their coach, he probably just wanted to make sure no spy was keeping tab on any of them.

Chuckling at the prospect, he reaches the gym and heads straight to the locker room. Ralph Castelo, one of his best buddies grinned and waved him over.

“Where were you man? I thought you weren't coming!”

“Wouldn't miss this for the world! Coach?” he said, glancing around, hoping he wouldn’t get into trouble for being late.

“Oh, just being his usual paranoid self. He's instructed everyone to go about the usual exercise program and then meet him later for some group exercises.”

He nods in understanding and gets ready for the workout. A few minutes later, he's out and starts his program. He slaves away and loses track of everything else as ACDC went on in his ear. He didn't notice Ralph calling his name, until the guy yanks his earphones.

“Hey!”

“You and your rock music. I was yelling my head off calling you!”

“What? Did you need something?”  he retorted, starting to feel annoyed at his friend for interrupting his rock-and-gym time. 

“Ged and i were talking earlier and he shared some interesting stuff.” Ralph grins.

“Really? C'mon Ralph, stop wiggling your brows like that. So not cool.” Ged Layson, another teammate, teasingly said.

“Jeeesh. And to think i was trying to be dramatic about this.” Ralph frowns

“So?”

“Coach Cruz kicked Coach Ramos out.” Ralph dramatically exclaims.

What?" That was news. Not to mention they all liked the assistant coach since his easy going less strict manner tempered nicely with Coach Cruz'

Ged continues with a smirk. “Yup. Apparently, the man was a spy, for some other team.”

“Don't you think coach is taking this whole conspiracy thing too far?” James said, frowning.

“Usually, I would agree with you. But, they are saying he got caught red handed meeting with the other team's coach, so it does seem like this team already has inside information on us.”

“Damn. “ That was a low blow. And he would never have thought Mr. Cruz would sell them out like that.

“Damn is right.” Ralph exclaims, looking a bit irritated. “Which is why we have to memorize some new plays coach made just in case.”

“So how about the position that Ramos will be leaving behind?”  James remembers to ask.

Ralph unexpectedly smiles at the question. “Well, rumour is, they are bringing in someone from the USA to take over.”

“An American?” James tries in vain to keep his voice steady.

“Yeah, just like you! You'd like that won't you! Bet you look forward to bugging him to death with all your questions.”, Ged said, laughing at him.

“Hah! We'll see about that.” James retorted.

This was great news. They were getting an american as an assistant coach. Ralph was right, he can barely contain the giddiness he was feeling.

For so long now, he has harboured an insistent curiosity about the country his mother left behind. For the Brown household, America was like a hazy past, something they knew was a part of who they are but simply out of reach. Don't make any mistake though, he loves the Philippines, and he's sure that he's a proud Filipino, albeit it was only by birth. But sometimes, he couldn't help but wonder.

How different would their life be, if they stayed in America?

This was a question that he and Sarah used to obsess over when they were younger, but as the years passed, Sarah had just lost interest.

Now, the last time he brought it up, it started a week-long fight between them. Sarah simply wanted to move forward, while James finds it difficult to let go of the past.

In a way, he knew it was foolish, and at times, he feels guilty since it feels like he was betraying his mother. But what was wrong with having questions? With trying to find answers?

“Earth to James! Yo buddy!” Ralph shook his shoulder.

“Sorry, spaced out there for a while.” He looked around and noted that more people had joined their little group.

“Jeez. Anyway, as Philip here was saying, isn't t a bit surprising how fast they could get a replacement? Especially since the whole USA is currently on lockdown. I would have thought processing papers and all that documents would take months.”

“Lockdown?” a guy wearing red glasses asked, whom he vaguely remembers as Mike asked.

Philip nodded. “Yup, meaning people can't go in the country.”

James was intrigued. “Even citizens? Won't people refuse to being restricted access to their home?”

It was Ralph who answered. “Yes, but apparently, they have some kind of mutant infestation going on. I heard it was an alien invasion! Like the one they had some years ago in New York!”

“No one really knows for sure of course. I bet they have some kind of news manipulation going on.” Ged had quite the speculative expression on, James almost laughed.

“Right. News Manipulation. I don't think big news companies would cooperate if there was one, you know, with all that bs about people's right to information and freedom of the press.” Ralph proclaims cockily. His best friend can be such a know it all.

“I think, even CNN would cooperate if it means not spreading panic and saving lives.they can always claim declassification when the mess gets cleared up.” Philip smugly said. Pompous ass.

“What if they don't resolve it though? “ Mike pipes up.

“Yeah! And all of us lesser countries will have to clean up after them.” A guy James doesn’t remember the name of butts in.

“Nah. USA is still a world superpower. And they have had experience with stuff as weird as alien invasions and whatever. They always come out on top.” Ralph said.

“And don't forget the Avengers! With superheroes like Wolverine and Ms. Marvel, i doubt anything can really go wrong for them.” Mike exclaims, almost like a child, eyes lighting up with excitement.

Oh boy. Just give it a minute and everyone is going to go off-

“Don't forget Spiderman! And the black guy who turns his skin into diamond!

“Forget that guy, Black Widow is smoking hot.”

“Isnt she a spy?”

“So what? She’s still an avenger.”

Oh yes, here we go with another who’s-your-superhero talks.

“Oh hey, everyone knows the best avenger is the captain!”

“Captain? That metal arm guy!”

“No silly, he's the replacement, i was talking about the original one!”

“The Commander you mean.”

“Yes! He's like to real deal when you think about what heroes are like.”

“Isn't he not a part of the team anymore?”

“Nope, but he's still indirectly in charge right? Since he's the top cop something.”

“Uhuh. And he's so cool. I'd give anything to have that perfect body.”

“That was so gay Hans!”

“What? He is kinda my role model.”

“I dunno, he seems a bit too perfect?”

“Well, he's a really good tactician, and great strength, if i had that, i could be able to do anything!”

“And he's very noble. He fought some kind of anti human rights act years ago, even if it was against his own teamates!”

“Nahhhhhh. Ryan's right! He's too perfect! I bet he's no match to the Hulk!”

“Big, Mean and green huh Jay? His alter ego is a little lame though.”

“Dr. Bruce Banner? Lame? Winner of two Nobel Peace Prize-“

James chuckled as the whole team went on arguing on which one was the better if not best Avenger. He continued his workout, silent but listening to his friends. He would have joined in the now-all-out battle, but he simply felt no need to defend his hero. Captain America was a class of his own, and nothing anyone else said will convince him otherwise.

 It was really nice though, just hanging around with his team and talking about anything under the sun, no matter how mundane. They could be such children, and his sister usually couldn't stand the mindless chatter, but for him, it felt a little bit like talking with his mother, who was an absolute chatterbox. Growing up, his favourite part of the day was spending time with his mother. He used to follow her all around the house, throughout the chores and even when she was working on those little engineering projects she was so engrossed with. Embarrassing as it used to be for him, he used to find it difficult to sleep without hearing his mother’s smooth, slightly low voice.

Yes, he was a big mama's boy through and through, and he was proud of it. She wasn't just a parent. To him, she was also a close friend.

“Speaking of bad ass-nessss, have you seen this?”

Snapping out of his thoughts, he shifts his attention back to the group, who apparently is moving on to another topic.

Paolo, last year's small forward, and one of the richest students in their school, suddenly brought out an obviously new phone and paraded it proudly around the whole team.

“Whoooooa. Pao, is that what i think it is?” Ralph exclaims.

“No way dude! This is the latest Starkphone CFV-X216!” James is not surprised Ged knows the actual unit name. He was a big tech nut.

Paolo’s grin goes wider. “Yup! My dad just came from a convention in New York and bought it for me. Cool huh?”

Mike scoffed. “Cool is an understatement! Starkphones are like, the most advanced of all techs!”

“Even Apple is no match to them!”

“And it’s not just the phones dude! Almost all of our appliances are STARK!”

“Well, we can't afford to do that, but all of our laptops and phones are STARK.”

“That can't be helped, the brand is quite expensive. But I doubt anyone in our school isn't carrying at least one Starkphone of their own.”

At this point everyone was talking rapidly at the same time, James already lost count of who was saying what. A little exasperated at how childish everyone was acting, James was about to place one earbud in his ear when-

“That's not true! James doesn't have one!” Mike, the pip-squeak, blurted out.  

“Erm.” Stunned faces turn to look at him curiously. Now this was awkward. He's never been one to feel out of place before, but right then at that moment, he felt particularly embarrassed that he in fact does not own a Starkphone.

To be exact, no one in their family owns one. Their household is relatively STARK-free. It was a minor detail in their life that has never bothered him before, at least not until this conversation.

Getting over his own surprise at the attention suddenly focused on him, he smiles while scratching the back of his head.

“Um, I’m not much of a fan of the tech behind it, so I’d rather stick to Apple.” James said, scratching the back of his head, hoping that would be the end of it.

“Seriously? That's sick man, Apple’s is nothing compared to Stark.” Paolo said.

Ralph, the good man, comes to his rescue.“Nah, i dunno about that buddy, i mean they ARE still surviving despite the odds.”

“Uhuh, and it really depends on your preference. And i kinda really like Apple.” James added.

“Well, everyone is free to choose what phone they wish to have Paolo.“ Ged said

Mike, looking a bit determined to continue embarrassing the hell out of James, said, “But isn't it a bit-“

“What are you boys doing?”

Uh-oh. That voice.

“Coach! We were just-“ And there the coach stood, looking every bit like the imposing devil that he was glaring daggers at everyone.

James could see the veins bulging along the man’s neck as he shouted, “Standing around gossiping like ladies? Yes I can see that quite clearly. Now get your asses back to what you were supposed to be doing or else!”

And with that, the group broke apart, everyone not willing to bear the brunt of their coach's rage.

He chuckled a bit, amused at how childish his team could act sometimes. And it doesn't help how much fun he usually has just going along with the silliness and be carefree.

Shit. Noticing the time, he shakes all other thoughts out of his head and places his whole focus on finishing his workout. No matter how much fun they had, it was important to never forget the ultimate goal.

Winning the championship.

Making it to the team was step one. Getting a spot in the starting positions was another.

He can do this.

Afterall, there's nothing no Brown can't do once they put their mind to it.

 

 

**HARRISON RESIDENCE**

**AYALA HEIGHTS**

**MATANDANG BALARA**

**QUEZON CITY**

 

Warm.Cozy.Soft.

She could get used to this, waking up just like this for the rest of her days. Brown orbs fluttered open to gaze at the man sleeping serenely beside her.

Robert.

Her head was lying on his chest, his arms slipped around her in a protective embrace. She leans in his hair to inhale his scent, taking in the familiar smell of . Some things never changed with him, even after all this years.

Eyes closing, she becomes aware of their limbs entagled beneath the sheets, of the stickiness clinging to their flesh, and the undeniable smell of sex still hanging in the air.

Sex was always amazing whenever they made up.

How many times had this happened? Truth be told, Alexandra has already lost count of the times they have fought and demanded space from each other, only to come back to ask for another chance. Multiple chances even.

She raises one hand to softly caress his face. Tracing from the bridge of his nose to his strong jaw, she feels a strange rush of affection for this wonderful, mysterious and patient man.

Ever since she first met him at the immigration office she frequently went to, during the days she was fighting to find a way to stay in the country, he was both a source of annoyance and blessed distraction.

Those had been difficult days. With two babies and no papers and no husband, it was next to impossible to make ends meet, much less to find an adequate job.

Some kind hearted nuns had tried to help, giving them a home in a women’s shelter and people who can look after the twins as she struggled to piece together some kind of life.

But with no papers, with no identity to work with, it was futile.

So she took a risk and reached out to a former comrade. The one person who had understood, in his own way, the choices Tony Stark had made.

So much for never looking back.

But the gamble paid off. Reed somehow was able to secure the papers she needed. A new identity she could use to finally start over.

And from the lack of SHIELD agents around, it looks like Reed kept anything he knew of Alexandra to himself.

Thank god for small miracles.

Urgh. Robert’s eyebrows brunch together, and the arms around her tightened.

Always the cuddler, this man. Smiling to herself, she leans further into the embrace and just enjoys the sensation of being held.

It was so warm and she felt so safe, it was almost familiar.

And if she closed her eyes, she could pretend. She could almost see it, blond hair despite of black, bigger arms and broader chest, blue eyes instead of…

But she won’t. Seriously, what was wrong with her? After all these years? For some fucked up reason, she finds herself thinking of that man more often than should be possible. And its unsettling. Thinking about the past shakes her to the very core. So why the hell does her mind keep wandering to that man? To that life?

Stupid. Ridiculous. Pathetic.

“Sigh.”

“Stop it. You sigh like it’s the end of the world.” Robert’s cool, English voice startle her.

She springs one eye open. “How long were you awake?”

“A while.”  Robert said, smiling at her.

“Hey.”

“Hey.”

Trying to hide the embarrassment at the suddenly tender moment between them, she buries her face into his smooth white chest.

“You okay?”

“I was just thinking about when we first met.”

 “Oh.”

It wasn’t as if she was lying. It was exactly what she was remembering, right before her thoughts turned traitor.

“Yes. Oh.”

She was having a bad day then, with all the lines she stood for, and all the photocopies she had to make. It did not help how ridiculously hot that day was. Despite the two years she has spent in the country, she was yet to adjust to the tropical climate.

Her application for a Filipino citizenship was still in the process, and even then, there was a 70% chance it might get denied. So she decided to get a work permit, just so she can get a job she desperately needed.

That was one hell of a first meeting.

Sweaty and irritable, Alexandra had been a little careless, unintentionally bumping into Robert, causing him to spill the coffee he was holding.

Yes, it was such a cliché. She never even told her own children about this little story. It was the stuff romantic movies were made of and it made her skin crawl, just thinking about it.

Love is for children. Not for forty-four year old single mothers.

“You were such a douche.”

He had been too surprised to say anything at first, but when it finally sank in, his face turned bright red, and was obviously upset about the stain on his suit. Grabbing her tightly, he demanded payment for the dry-cleaning.

“You were such a bitch.”

And despite being scared about making a scene and causing damage to the man, her own anger at being manhandled took over. Gathering her strength, she stepped on his foot, wrenched her arm from his grasp and pushed him hard enough to make him stumble down. She felt a bit of guilt then but she really had no choice. What’s done had been done and she really didn’t have the money to pay him anything.

So she did the next thing anyone else would have done. She ran.

“But you had the hots for me back then. Couldn’t get me out my head till you eventually tracked me down later on.” She said teasingly looking at the man squarely in the face.

Robert didn’t even blink. “Right I did. The first time I laid my eyes on you.”

The sincerity and love in those green eyes were too much for her. She was so lucky to have someone like him by her side. If there was someone in her life she would ever consider trusting with her life and her children it would be this man.

If there was anyone in the world she would ever consider building a life with, it would be this man.

So why?

Why was it so difficult to let him in?

Why can’t she say yes, every time he asks?

If she has really moved on from the past, why can’t she allow herself to find even a semblance of the happiness she used to have?

Suddenly uncomfortable she averts her eyes.

“Whoa. I’m having none of this fluff loverboy. Want some breakfast?”

She untangled herself from his limbs and stood up, grabbing the red robe she had carelessly flung at the side of the bed last night.

“Are you still bothered about last time?”

She should have known Robert would notice her odd behaviour. Seven years of friendship and four years of intimacy had him very well versed in reading her.

But what can she say?

That she’s haunted by a past she can’t seem to escape from?

Robert only knows Alexandra Brown. He has never met Tony Stark.

It would be foolish to think he would be able to fully understand, and there was the possibility he wouldn’t be able to accept.

It would hurt. If he ever left her.

Telling him the truth meant accepting that things might change between them. And it terrifies her.

“I told you I could wait. Didn’t I? Don’t let it bother you too much.” Robert said, voice filled with understanding.

Alex internally sighed in relief. Robert probably thought she was still thinking about their latest argument. And even if it makes her a bad person for lying, she’d rather let him think that.

She’s too much of a coward to say the truth.

“I know. Its just- I feel like a terrible person, making you wait.”

_Because if I say yes, I have to tell the truth about everything._

“I want to wait. No matter how many years. I will wait, until you say yes, and I will never get tired of being by your side until that day comes.”

“But you deserve-“

Robert cuts her off, “I think I have the right to decide for myself what I deserve, and there’s nothing in this universe I want more in my life except you… and the kids.”

Oh Robert. She was running out of reasons to deny him. But somehow, she just wasn’t ready.

She sat back on the bed and turned to place a sweet and gentle kiss on his lips.

 _“Someday,”_ she swore to herself, _“Someday I will tell this man everything. And perhaps then, I’d be ready.”_

They broke apart, smiling at each other.

“So, I recall you saying something about breakfast?”

Scoffing, Alex stood up and walked to the mini-kitchen of the suite.

“Pancakes? Again?” Robert frowned at her.

“No you freak.” She laughed at his face. “A proper one. Sausages, rice, and maybe some eggs?”

“Oh, stereotypical Filipino breakfast then huh?” he said as he made his way to her.

“Yup. And you better eat it all.” And that was her plan, really. Cook, eat and go running home back to her babies.

Babies who are probably wondering why it was taking her so long to get home.

And while they were mature for their age, Alex is still not comfortable letting her babies think she was having any kind of sex, especially if it was with dear old “Tito” Robert.

But Robert had other plans in mind.

He wrapped his arms around her, hands already working to untie her robe.

 “Now, what if I eat all of you instead?”,he whispered seductively into her ear.

“That’s an idea.” Forget breakfast. It could wait. Desire was already messing with her head.

“A very good one, I assume?” he whispered into her ear and kissed her neck lovingly. His hand travelled downward, massaging all over her, and a finger was slipping inside and-

She was lost. Nothing but a puddle of want and need in his arms as he took her there, right on the countertop.

A very good one indeed.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos is love! :))))
> 
>  
> 
> Keep in touch on Tumblr! I'm at http://willowall.tumblr.com/


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where the twins are children trying to be adults, Natasha meets a not-quite dead end and Steve goes for a midnight snack run.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!
> 
> This is a big miracle. To be able to update this story. And I have to acknowledge the continuous support some have been sending me over through emails and messages. Thank you and sorry.
> 
> Sorry for taking so long. Real life happened again. I won't bore people with the details, but I really hope you guys still like the direction of where this is going. All I can say is that I'm lucky to be alive and writing, so I dedicate this chapter to people who have faced great adversity in their life and came out stronger after. 
> 
> I believe we're all a little bit like Alexandra here. We've made of iron all right. :)
> 
> Special thanks of course to my beta, eden. You are such a sweetheart! <3 All mistakes that remain are mine!
> 
>  
> 
> P.S. This chapter practically wrote itself. I had to divert from my original plan, but I liked this one better. hope you guys do too.

**UNIT 4, RUBY CREST VILLAS**

**QUEZON CITY PHILIPPINES**

Walking past her mother's small makeshift office, Sarah couldn't help but notice the subtle glow in her mother's aura.

 

“Someone’s in a good mood.” Sarah mutters as she walks down into the kitchen, more to herself really, but she should have known better than assume James wouldn’t hear.

“Huh? Who?”, James looks at her, puzzled, and she can’t help but snicker at how clueless her twin can be. Really. They might be minors, but come on, the signs were all there for anyone to see.

Mom was getting laid. In an alarmingly regular occurrence.

Sarah whooped in delight internally. She debated whether or not she should reveal this particular piece of information to her brother, but decided against it.

JJ was too much of a mommy's boy and a prude not to overreact to that little tidbit. He has always been adversarial, if not downright rude to every single guy who tried to even just look at their mother.

Not that they it’s their fault really. Their mom is gorgeous. And smart. And sexy.

Robert is going to be a really lucky guy. She can't wait until the two finally announces what she thinks is going on between them.

Watching James' shocked face is going to be priceless.

“Oh, did I say anything? I was just talking to myself again. Aloud.” She said quickly.

Of course James didn’t believe her. “Sure you were. Come on. Spill it.” James said, lightly punching her arm.

“It was nothing.”, she punched back. And quickly changed the topic to something she knew James would easily get distracted with.

 “So how's your entry for the Stark Breakout going?”, she asked and watched as her twin’s expression switched from suspicion to excitement.

Sometimes she thinks her brother is one giant adorable puppy. Or an idiot.

“Great! Everything is really coming together.”, James enthusiastically replied. “I encountered a bit of a problem with the initial programming, but it was just a small kink I managed to work out.”

Yes. She was totally visualizing a tail wagging somewhere there behind him.

Definitely a dog. “So when are you telling mom?” she asked, handing him his morning coffee.

_“Thanks.”,_ she hear him say and quickly thinks back a “ _You’re welcome_.”

This telepathic bond they had between them was relatively new, but they were quickly getting the hang of it.

“When I win? Want it to be a surprise.”, he said, winking at her.

_“Confident huh?”_

_“A little.”_

Cheeky bastard. She opened the refrigerator to get eggs when she noticed how hard it was to close the door.

Upon closer inspection, she figured out what was wrong, and who did it. “And why is the fridge all bent on the side again?”

James smiles and rubs the back of his head. “Sooooooorry! I might have lost control and grabbed it too hard again.”

“Sheeesh. You have to be careful J.” she admonished as she carefully pushed the bent metal back in place. “Remember what mom said?”

“Yeah, yeah. It's just that its getting really hard lately. It's almost as if I was getting stronger and stronger lately.” He sullenly replied.

“Well that can just be normal.” She countered, “A side effect of growing up.”

“I don't know Sarah.” James said. “Sometimes, it's just too freaky of a family trait, don't you think?”

“We're not mutants JJ. Stop daydreaming.”, she warns him.

_“Are you sure? Even with this?”_ James taunted her.

_“Yes. Now get out of my head. We agreed remember?”_ Sarah responded.

They weren’t supposed to use this mode of communication. At least not until they figure out a way to inform their mom of this new freaky development.

_“Fiiine_.”

_“Hey Sarah.”_

She ignores him. James just can’t understand rules sometimes. Or won’t.

“Hey Sarah.” James calls out to her.

“Yes?”

“The headaches. Do you still have them?” James said, worry showing on his face.

“Uhuh.” Sarah nods. “Getting worse?”

“Yup. When's the last time you had one?”

Sarah thinks about it and replies “Yesterday, around before dinner.”

James eyebrows crunched together. “Me too. I think we should tell mom about that too. Along with the new ability.”

“It might be nothing Jj.” Sarah replied. “Just ordinary headaches.”

“We feel it at the same time don't we? I can feel you whenever it happens too. Were you doing your assignment in math when it happened?” he said, pointedly looking at her, as if daring her to deny it.

So she didn’t. “Yes. How did-?”

“I could see numbers and equations in my mind. It was all jumbled up, but very distinct.” James shrugged. “And you know, that buzz we hear, its getting stronger.”

Sarah could see the conflicting emotions pass through her twin's face. Fear. Curiosity. Defiance. Maybe he was right. They need to tell their mother. But she didn't want to burden her with this. Not yet.

Not when their mother is so happy and free.

She and James might be young, but they were capable. They can handle this.

“We wait it out.” she said, looking into her twin’s eyes, conveying the need for him to agree. “There's still a chance its nothing. Let's give it a month or two.”

James looks away first. “What if we're sick or something?”

“We'll get some tests then. But mom can't know yet. Not until we're sure its really something.” she insists.

James took a deep breath and placed his arms around me in a tight hug.

He felt warm and safe, and at least he's going along with my call.

They both turned their attention back to breakfast, James getting up to make some pancakes and Sarah setting up the table.

It was a while before she noticed the worn out thing her brother was wearing.

“Oh hey, what is that thing you're wearing?” she asked.

This? It’s a Captain America sweater, what else?, he said, a bit pre-occupied with the pancakes he was now dumping on a big plate.

“Where the hell did you buy that? Wait a minute, why would anyone buy something that looks so old and worn out?” she taunted.

“Hold it.” He held his hand up and burst into a wide grin. “I didn't buy it! I found it!”

“Where?” she asked.

“Mom's old stuff.” was the quick reply.

Sarah's eyes grew wide in shock. No one was ever allowed to ever touch that one old suitcase that mom keeps hidden in the back of the garage.

“Don't look at me like that!” James exclaimed.

“Mom's going to be so angry!” she shouted back.

“Come on! She doesn't even use that stuff. And I didn't snoop, i just saw this on top and grabbed it and closed it!”

“Tsk tsk tsk. Didn't snoop much huh?” she shook her head. “You better hide it before she sees it. I can hear her moving around and packing up. She'll be downstairs in a minute.”

_“You think she'll be mad?”_

_“300% JJ.”_

“Fine.”

James tugged the sweater off his body and half heartedly placed it in his backpack.

He was noticeably sulking, most probably feeling both guilty and deprived at the same time.

Her brother is such a child. He should know better than to get anything from mom's old stuff, but knowing how much he adores Captain America, he's probably hoping their mother won't be too angry.

Which was too unlikely. Sarah can remember the one time they were caught just looking at the suitcase. Their mother walked in just as they were trying to figure out the lock and to say that their mother had been angry would be an understatement. She took one glance at them before she visibly paled, and in a tight voice, ordered them to take their hands off the case and get out of the room. She would never forget the way she trembled or the fear reflected in her eyes.

They all never talked about that day, but it became an unspoken rule in the house.

As far as anyone was concerned, that case didn't exist.

Hell will break loose once her mom finds out. She has to find a way to convince James to return it.

She will have to be sneaky about it. God knows how stubborn James can get after all.

“Good morning guys!”, her mother greeted, looking fresh and happy as she walked down the staircase.

“Hey mom! Good morning?” Sarah replied, pouring out coffee into her mother’s cup.

Her mother broke into a wide smile.

“Yes, and it’s getting even better by the second!” her mom exclaimed, “Dr. Fernandez called, Macky's ready for pick up this afternoon!”

James visibly perked up at the news that their beloved beagle was coming home. The dog had been a gift from Robert for their graduation and had become an important part of the family. And when he had to stay in the vet for some weird dog flu, they had been a little bit scared the little bugger would never be seen again.

“Thank god for little blessings.” Her mother continued.

Their mother was just so happy lately and Sarah internally patted herself on the back for her smart calls.

They can’t ruin this. They would tell her everything, eventually. Just not now.

Sarah strengthened her resolve. “Can JJ and I pick him up?” she asked as she handed the coffee to her mom.

“Sure! Just make sure you two behave. No stressing good little Macky!”

“Moooom. We're always well behaved.” James interjected.

“Says the one who ran him down with that frisbee of yours.” Sarah remarked.

“I was teaching him cool dog tricks!” James exclaimed, a bit offended at the prospect of intentionally hurting the pet. He loved that dog.

Her mom chuckles and joins in “How about that horrible little dress up thing you did to him?”

James looked horrified. “It was not horrible! It was for art class! I needed a model!”

The banter continued for a while. At least until their mother glanced up at the wall clock.

“Children! Look at the time!”

Sarah glanced at the wall clock and froze up. She was running late!

Sarah looked down at her half finished pancake. “Permission to skip rest-of-my-breakfast mom!”

“Finish that last pancake and drink your juice first young lady. Breakfast is the-“

“-most important meal of the day.” Sarah finished. “ Yes mom, okay! I’m swallowing!”

Sigh. Typical mom.

 

 

 

**113 MARIANA WEST SUBDIVISION**

**QUEZON CITY, PHILIPPINES**

 

This was not how Natasha envisioned her search for Tony Stark to end up in.

A stale mate. A dead end. She led the team here, thinking she had a good and solid lead from Reed.

It was supposed to be a get-Stark-go-back kind of mission. Now they have to find Stark first. As in really search for him.

Bastard scientist tricked her. That odd smug little smile he was wearing when he handed over the files weren’t a sign of mental illness, as she had assumed.

It was a sign of his victory over her. He must have known that the data would reveal nothing of Tony Stark’s actual location.

The ache building in her temples was getting stronger by the second. She needed a drink badly.

She sneaked in quietly through the window of the bed she had claimed three days ago in the three-storey town house the team had been assigned as headquarters when they arrived.

The team would surely be angry and have a lot of questions. After all, she did suddenly disappear as soon as everyone settled down and haven’t been back until now.

But while they deserve an explanation, she can’t handle any interrogation right now. Not when she didn’t have most of the answers herself, and certainly not when Tony Stark is at the very center of this whole mess.

The whole team is too emotionally invested in their target to risk it. And if she’s having difficulty to wrap her head around her latest discovery and what it meant, she doesn’t know how it will affect the others, most of all Steve.

Shit. Steve.

Tony. Why is it always so difficult to handle everything related to this man? Why is everything all so complicated when it came to him?

Natasha pours herself some of the scotch she had specifically requested be placed in her mini-bar. Macallan 1939. 40 years old, eleven thousand bucks a piece. It had been one of Tony’s favourites. They were never close, but they have so much history together as teammates and co-workers, it was difficult not to have him rub off anything on you.

For Natasha, she thought he had very good taste in alcohol. Too bad he had trouble controlling his drinking.

_“God Tony. What the fuck happened to you these past years? Where are you really?”,_ she thought as the drink burned down her throat.

She had to resolve this as fast as she can. They can’t risk spending more time than necessary, with agents dying every day as they faced this new threat, and the enemy now apparently taking an interest themselves in Stark…

They had to find him first.

And to do that she had to figure out who Alexandra Marie Brown is and how she fits into the puzzle.

She opens her laptop and looks at the picture on the screen. A woman in her early forties with black hair and brown eyes filled the screen. 45 years old. Single mom of two. A university professor and real estate agent. What connection did she have with Tony?

She heard a very light tap from behind her. In a split second she had whirled around, knife in hand, to face the smiling archer who undoubtedly had sneaked in her room through one of the vents.

“Clint.”

“Who’s the woman”, the archer asks, his eyes now staring intently at the screen.

“None of your concern. Just yet.”

Clint chuckles. “I disagree. I think the whole team would back me on that. Where have you been?”

“Around.” she shrugs and puts her knife down, and moves to close the laptop.

“You’re hiding something.”, Clint insists, “As usual.”

Persistent bastard. 

“I’m not in the mood Hawkeye.” she icily replied, hoping the archer would get the hint and drop the topic.

“What’s with the hostility? Something not going along your expectations?”

“Get out.”, she flings a knife in his direction, and he dodges barely in time.

Clint shakes his head as he pulls the knife from the wall. “Steve’s not happy with you. No one is.”

“I know that.”, she replies, knowing there’s no winning this argument. Not when she’s at this dead end.

“So?”, Clint stares at her expectantly.

“I don’t know where Tony Stark is.”

Clint is visibly surprised. “Didn’t you make Reed tell you where he is?”

“I made him turn over files. Which had a location.”

“But it didn’t lead you to Tony.”

“No.”

A long silence filled the room as the weight of that word sank in.

Clint breaks it, saying, “It led you-us to this woman. Who is she?”

And what could she reply to that? The truth?

It must have shown on her face, the failure she was trying to not acknowledge.

“You don’t know.” He said in disbelief.

“No.”, she admits aloud.

“But you still brought us here.” Clint said, voice carrying a bit of agitation.

“I was fairly certain Stark would be somewhere near her.”, she defends herself.

Clint snorts. “You thought she was his what? Wife?”

“It was a possibility. Or he was masquerading himself as a woman.”, she replied.

Clint raised his eyebrows at that, opening his mouth in protest.

She didn’t let him start. “Reed made up an entire identity for her as Alexandra Brown. Some money, birth certificate, school records, social security number, etc.”, she taps a few tabs on her laptop’s screen, propting documents to fill the screen.

“Everything that was required to get Philippine Citizenship.”, she adds.

Clint stares at the documents. “But she’s a real woman alright wasn’t she.”

Natashe nods. “She has two kids, a house and a car under her name. All medical records I found authenticated her registered gender.”

“That’s where you were. You checked her out.” Clint said. “Maybe she’s his lover?”

“Genetically improbable. Kids are blonde. She’s not. And if it’s just a dormant gene, there was no sign of him anywhere to indicate that.”

Clint’s examining the documents now, thumbing through the screen. “Maybe they separated? Tony doesn’t have a good track record when it came to relationships.”

“That he didn’t.” Natasha agreed. “But there’s no way to be sure. We’d have to go and ask her ourselves.”

“That would be catastrophic.” Clint says, disbelief clear in his voice. “Hi! We’re secret agents slash superheroes from America! Can you possibly tell us what your relationship is to war criminal Anthony Edward Stark? If so, care to point to us where he is so we can drag his ass back to our currently endangered country?”

“Only other option is continued surveillance, and we don’t have the luxury of time.” Natasha said.

“We have to be sure about this Nat. The enemy is moving and they are moving in this direction.” Clint said, zooming the picture of the family Natasha had on file. “If we go approach that family and we’re wrong, we’d be placing them in danger.”

“We have to find Stark. That’s our priority. The faith of the world is in his hands.” Natasha replies, voice strong and full of conviction.

Clint sighs. “You heard about the attack this morning?”

“New York. 64 dead. 639 injured.”

“It had been a massacre. God. This all one big mess.” Clint sais, massaging his temples.

Then he asks the dreaded question. “How are we telling Steve about this?”

“He’s a grown man. He can handle this.”, she insists.

“Not when its about Tony.” Clint countered. And he was absolutely right. “This is going to be a shock to him.”

“He’s going to have to deal with it. Let him.”

“He’s going to be hurt. I think.”

“Steve knows how to take care of himself.”, she said. “He’s going to be alright. Besides, whatever they had is ancient history. It’s been eleven years.” But even as she said it, Natasha didn’t really believe that. Neither did Clint.

But he didn’t offer any objection. “Yeah. I hope so. So what’s the plan?”, he said, tearing his eyes away from the screen and settling his eyes back on her.

“I’ll brief everyone tomorrow of our actual plan.”, she said.

“Which is?”

“Direct approach. Meet her and ask.”, she said and smirked at him. “You had the whole script figured out a while ago, didn’t you?”

“This is crazy Nat! We’re about to barge into the lives of these people and expose them to danger. Unless this woman is actually Tony.”, Clint said.

“Who grew a vagina? And naturally gave birth to twins? Right.”, she said dismissively.

“Okay. That sounded crazy yes. Alright.” Clint held his head in his hands and sighed in frustration.

“Tony you motherfucker! Come out come out wherever you are.” He shouted.

“Someone’s excited.”, she teased.

Clint looks at her and reluctantly nods. “I miss him. Everyone does. Most just can’t acknowledge that they miss a war criminal.”, he admits, then looks at her wickedly. “In fact, you miss him.”

Natasha snorted.

“Don’t pretend to understand anything about me.”, she said and pointed to the door. “You know the way out.”

“You mentioned kids. Got pictures?” Clint tries to insist.

As if he had a chance. “Discussion over Clint. Get out.”

She casually cocked the gun she suddenly held in the right hand and stood up to walk to the restroom.

“Whooa. Okay. Walking out now.” he said slowly backing out into the direction of the door. “Show them tomorrow okay?”

Another loud cock of her gun, and she was entirely sure she was alone in her room again.

Clint can be such an asshole, but the pressure building in her head had subsided, so she couldn’t make herself mad at the archer. Clint had this way of getting in her head, making her calm down and think more clearly.

_“Tony as a woman huh_?” she smiled to herself as she stripped and slid into the warm tub.

That’s an idea. Funny and impossible, true. But in their line of work, she has seen everything and impossible is just a word.

She better prepare for that possibility then.

Just in case.

 

**7-ELEVEN, TIMOG AVENUE**

**QUEZON CITY, PHILIPPINES**

 

It was close to midnight when Steve entered the 7-Eleven store he found yesterday during his morning run around the neighbourhood.

There wasn’t much customers, just three teenagers huddled together on one of the small tables and two women paying for their purchases at the counter.

Everything’s all calm and quiet in this city. Too quiet for him, in his opinion. He’s too used to the never-ending hustle and bustle of New York and Washington.

But he liked his stay here so far. The Filipinos he has met were all very hospitable and accommodating. He can imagine visiting just to relax and get away from all the stress of his day to day life as the Commander.

He can’t imagine To-Stark settling down in this kind of place.

Shaking his head at the unpleasant weight settling at his chest, he made his way to the hotdogs on display and made five sandwiches.

He made his way to the counter to pay, and to his surprise found a blonde teenage girl standing in line. She looked American but her clothes and actions were distinctly that of a local, not a tourist. She was briskly talking on the phone and sounded very agitated. He rarely saw foreigners wandering around this time of the night, so he assumed she might be half-Filipino and half-American.

She was a very beautiful young girl.

He felt some anger at the thought that a parent would let their children out at this hour. Even if they did sneak out, a father should take every means necessary to ensure their children’s safety, like strictly monitoring their whereabouts. If this was his daughter, he’d make sure.

At least that’s what Steve would like to believe. He’s never had children so who was he to judge? He’ll probably never have children anyway. It was too much of a security risk and his job always comes first. After all, being Captain America, now Commander Rogers is so much more than just a man. He was a symbol, and he can’t let that be compromised.

Never again.

He and Sharon almost came close though. But after the miscarriage, Sharon had been too devastated to try again. Steve couldn’t bring himself to convince her otherwise. It had been his fault. Hydra had kidnapped and brutally beat Sharon just to get to Steve.

The child would have been eight years old this year.

The divorce came soon after the 1st death anniversary. Steve was too numb to care.

Everything he cares about always got ripped away from him.

He’s stopped hoping for a family ever since. That’s what the Avengers are for now. The only family he’ll ever have.

“Hey!” The girl standing in front of him exclaimed as a man purposely stood before her, cutting in line.

“Excuse me?” The girl clearly growing more and more agitated exclaimed. “There’s a line here!”

“So?” The man, who on closer inspection was really just a kid wearing grown up clothes, shrugs. “This is just one bottle of beer. Won’t take me long.”

“That’s not the point. Get in line, PLEASE!” the girl said, taking one step forward the other kid.

Unthreatened, the kid looks up at the girl’s head down to her foot, “Who’s going to make me? You? Hah!” And with that, he turns his back on her, clearly intending to ignore the blonde.

Anger visibly growing on her face, the girl moves to tug at the boy’s shoulder.

Steve knows he shouldn’t involve himself, but if he didn’t, this simple disagreement might end up in a fight he knows the girl won’t escape unscathed.

“Ahem.” He taps the boy on the shoulder, stopping the girl’s fingers in mid-air. “I think you better follow the lady young man.”

Not even caring to look at him, the gutsy kid replied. “Oh yeah? Why should I?”

Steve wasn’t deterred. He wrapped his hand gently on the shoulder and firmly tugged.

The kid turned around and looked up at his frowning face. He turned an interesting shade of white and scowled at the girl.

“Fine.” The kid’s jaw is tightly locked as he moves to go to the back of the line. “You’re lucky you have your bodyguard with you.”

“He’s not my bodyguard. Go get going to the back asshole.” This girl has so much fire in her, Steve notes. Quite stubborn too, basing on the way her eyes never looked away from the glares the boy was giving her.

“You know what , I changed my mind about buying this shit. You can have it!” The boy shouts and pushes the girl backwards.

But the girl had quick reflexes. She turns as she falls and avoids falling on her back.

The kid held the bottle tight and raised his arm, moving to strike the girl.

Steve moved quickly. Grabbing the outstretched arm, he twisted it around and held the boy back.

“Aaaaargh! My arm! Let go of me!” Squirming to get out of Steve’s tight grasp, the boy loses his hold on the bottle, which the girl catches before it smashed into pieces on the floor.

“You really shouldn’t be out trying to strike ladies, fella.” Steve tightens his hold as he makes eye contact with the girl. A gleam of satisfaction passes through blue eyes which was quickly replaced with a glimmer of worry.

She was actually worried Steve might hurt the boy.

Steve instantly felt a great amount of respect for whoever raised this young woman.

“This isn’t legal! I’ll sue you! Let go!”

“I’ll let you go as soon as you promise you will walk out the door and never look back.” Steve firmly replied, moving both of them near the door.

“I’ll kill you! I swear to God I’ll-“

“This isn’t the time to threat anyone kid. The only thing you’re going to swear to is that you are leaving.” Steve said. “Quietly. Are we clear on that?”

The kid gulps and sweats profusely. Steve slowly tightens his hold on his arm until he screams out in pain.

“Arrrrrgh-okay! Okay!!! God stop it! Okay!”

“Good.” He looks at the girl again, who nods at him, clearly wishing to just let the boy go on his way.

Steve lets go and the kid glares at him then at the girl then runs out of the store.

Stupid punk. Steve’s eyes never left the back of the boy until he turned on a back alley.

Turning around back to the direction of the counter, he’s not surprised to see the girl helping pick up the sandwiches that fell to the floor when he got hold of the kid.

“I know karate.” The girl said as she handed them over. “I could have handled that kid on my own you know.”

“You shouldn’t have to.” Steve replied, now observing her nimble fingers as it tugged an errant hair back into place. He could see a few faint scars and visible scorns.

 “But thanks anyway.” She said, now breaking into a wide smug grin

“You’re welcome.”

“At the very least, let me pay for your stuff as gratitude.” She begins to talk rapidly, apparently now a little nervous with talking to a stranger. “Oppps, don’t argue, you can’t win any argument against stubborn ladies like me. Say okay.”

No. He probably didn’t. “Okay.”

“Great!” She grabs the sandwiches and instructs the cashier to put it in a separate bag. Then she gives the bag to him and smiles.

She had a beautiful warm smile.

“Thanks again stranger!” She walks slowly to the door. “Would love to interview a foreign guy like you who’s suddenly in the neighbourhood being some kind of knight in shining armor, but my brother and I only sneaked out of the house, and if we don’t get home soon, my mom will find out and it won’t be pretty.”

Steve steps forward and said “You shouldn’t do that to your parents.”

“Parent.” She corrects while visibly scrunching her nose. “Yeah, I suppose, but my brother had some really, really important meet up with some of his friends for a contest we haven’t told my mom he’d be joining.” She smiles sheepishly, and Steve can see how much she loves her brother, to go against the wishes of a mother she clearly adored.

“That’s him.” She points at the three teenagers he saw when he walked in and saw a blonde boy nod at their direction. He seemed slightly taller than her but had the same face. He was wearing an old Captain America sweater and casual jeans. He turns back to his companions, looking like he was wrapping up their talk.

“So it’s complicated.” she concludes and stares right at him, as if daring him to tell her off again. He didn’t dare.

He wanted to ask where their dad was but it seemed too personal to ask a person you just met. And don’t know.

“Well, see you around stranger. Don’t worry we’re taking a cab, and as I said I know karate. We both do.” she said.

“Twin?” he clarifies.

“Yup. Bane of my existence.” She shakes her head in emphasis. “But I love him anyway.”

“I can see that.” And a comfortable silence passes over them.

Minutes pass by, but her twin apparently still has not finished talking with his friends.

Visibly irritated, the girl looks at her watch and scowls.

She looks up and remembers Steve standing beside her.

“Sooo yeah… We really have to go now. Thanks again.” She extends her hand to her which he takes. Her grip is both warm and firm.

“I’m Sarah by the way.”

“Steve.”

Sarah nods at him and walks out of the store. Her brother runs after her a few moments, but not without sparing him a smile and quick “Thanks Steve!”

He stood there for a while, thinking how nice it would be to have a daughter… or a son.

An impossible feat for someone like him really.

He was walking home when it struck him how familiar Sarah and her brother had felt.

Smiling to himself, he briskly walked back to their headquarters. He looked at the townhouse and felt relief. Black Widow’s bedroom light was on.

Natasha was back and they can finally get a move on in their mission. He only wished she had told them she was going to disappear as soon as they arrived.

He knows she might have had a good reason, but the waiting is killing him.

He just wants this done and over with.

The sooner they find Stark the better. They would deliver the war criminal to SHIELD, save the world and he can then go back to forgetting he ever existed.

He won’t let Stark affect him in any way. Not again.

He doesn’t care about him.

Just a war criminal.

Hunger forgotten, he walks in the house, earlier incident already fading in his mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Keep in touch on Tumblr! I'm at http://willowall.tumblr.com/
> 
> Sooo, did you like the update? lemme know!

**Author's Note:**

> Comments are absolutely welcome! Just no flames please. It its that bad, uhm, a sad face will do? :)
> 
> What do you think though? tell me if this is worth reading at least. :)))))


End file.
